Top 5 Weird Google Search Suggestions

By on August 29, 2013
Google Search Suggestions

Everyone who has used the internet will have experienced Google’s auto-complete function. It works by trying to anticipate what you are writing in the search. This means it can give you the answers before you finish asking. The results can sometimes be very strange. For some, they are testament to the wonderful wackiness and irreverence of the internet. But they have landed Google in trouble. In Germany, for example, typing in the name of a former president’s wife resulted in Google suggesting results that connected her to prostitution. Google ended up in court and was found to have violated privacy laws. Our top 5 weird Google Search Suggestions are not that serious, but they are strange.

1. Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and think “what wattage is my microwave”?

Google Search Suggestions 1

The only connection I can draw here is that some microwave doors are reflective. But here is a word of advice before reading on in this top 5 – it is best not to try to understand. Just accept the inherent quirkiness the internet – it is the modern wild, wild west.

2. I hate it when I’m studying and a velociraptor throws bananas at me!

Google Search Suggestions 2

There you have it, an explanation for the main picture of this Top 5. I think this result is geared towards people who have smoked a little too much of the wacky stuff instead of studying. As for the poop result below it – I don’t really know what to say.

3. How to raise your IQ by eating gifted children.

Google Search Suggestions 3

This begs the question: why just gifted children? Would dining out on gifted adults not also raise your IQ? Not only is Google promoting cannibalism here, I regard this suggestion as being ageist. We gifted adults need to stand up to this discrimination and proclaim that stupid people can get smarter by eating us too!

4. Do midgets have souls?

Google Search Suggestions 4

Oh dear, this is wrong on so many levels. There really are some dumb people out there. Anyway, I was wondering, do idiots who ask Google insulting questions have souls? I think not.

5. I am extremely terrified of Chinese people.

Google Search Suggestions 5

This is what I mean when I say it is almost impossible to figure out how Google works. “I am extremely” was all the searcher had typed. The first three suggestions are reasonable assumptions to the end of that sentence – tired, bored and depressed. Also, making the assumption that the next word might be “terrified” is also understandable. But of Chinese people?! Why not spiders? Why not heights? Why not Britney Spears even? Come on Google!

About Damien McGinley

Damien is a professional writer, qualified journalist, father, husband, expert jam-on-toast spreader, rugby fan, and experienced player of games involving dressing up like a knight and building forts. Hails from Belfast.

One Comment

  1. Well...

    March 3, 2014 at 7:29 pm

    I think number 2 has to do with Jurassic Park

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